skoal
- 组别:湍急之河流
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2008-03-28
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父母和孩子间的幽默
1.To Learn French
Son: Dad, is French difficult to learn?
Father: My boy, at the beginning it is, but after that it becomes easy.
Son: That's great! I'll learn the latter half.
学法语
儿子：爸爸，法语难学吗？
父亲：我的孩子，开头是难，可往后就变得容易了。
儿子：太好了！那我就学后半部分。
2.Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interesting in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?"
"Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, "there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲和小儿子一道回家，这孩子正处于那种对什么事都感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？”
“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成四个，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
3.The Father and His Son
Father: You know, Tom, when Lincoln was your age, he was a very good pupil. In fact, he was the best pupil in his class.
Tom: Yes, Father. I know that. But when he was your age, he was President of the United States.
父与子
父亲：汤姆，你要知道，当林肯在你这年龄时，他是一个很好的学生。事实上，他是班里最好的学生。
汤姆：是的，爸爸，我知道。可当他在你这个年龄时，他已是美国总统了。
4.Jim's History Examination
Aunt: How did Jim do his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. Why, they asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
姨妈：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事情。
5.I Taught the Teacher
Mother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?"
"Nothing, Mum," answered the son proudly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three."
我教老师
妈妈问她的小儿子：“宝贝儿，今天老师都教你些什么？”
儿子骄傲地说：“什么也没教，妈妈，她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她是三。”
6.Conduct and Courtesy
Father: The school report gives you a D for conduct and an A for courtesy. How did you manage that?
Cuthbert: Whenever I punch someone, I apologize.
品德与礼貌
父亲：学校的成绩单上给你的品德分是D，礼貌分是A，你这是怎么搞的？
卡斯伯特：无论我什么时候打了人，过后我都会向人家道歉的。
7.I Wasn't Listening
Mother asked her little daughter who was reading a book, "What are you reading, dear?"
"I don't know," the little girl answered.
"You don't know? But you were reading aloud, so you must know."
"I was reading aloud, mummy, but I wasn't listening," explained the child.
我没有听
妈妈问正在读书的女儿：“亲爱的，你读的是什么书？”女儿回答道：“我不知道。”
“你不知道？你不是在朗读吗？你应该知道的。”
女儿解释道：“我是在朗读，可我没有听啊。”
8. Give Me a Dollar
Son: Dad, give a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad. Give me a dollar, will you?
给我一块钱
儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。
父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了，不是吗？
儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？
9.politeness
Mother: Which apple do you want, Tom?
Tom: The biggest one.
Mother: Why, Tom, you should be polite and take the little one.
Tom: Well, Mamma, should I lie just to be polite?
礼貌
妈妈：汤姆，你要哪个苹果？
汤姆：要那个最大的。
妈妈：什么？汤姆，你应该有礼貌，要那个小的。
汤姆：哎，妈妈，为了有礼貌我是不是就应该说谎？
10.A Strict Rule
Dick's mother made it a rule that if he came to the dinner table late he was not to speak a single word during the meal. Yesterday he arrived, as usual, after everybody had sat down. As soon as he entered the room he began with, "I say, mother..." but his mother quickly reminded him of the rule.
"But, mother..." he persisted.
"Not a word," said the stern parent who meant the rule to be enforced. When dinner was over, his mother asked what he wanted to say. "Oh, I only wanted to say, mother, that my little sister had fallen into the water."
严格的规定
迪克的妈妈定了一条规矩，如果他在吃饭的时候来晚了，就不允许在吃饭时说话。昨天，他象往常一样，别人都坐下了他才来。一进屋他就说“我说，妈妈。。。”但她妈妈马上提醒他那条规矩。
“但是，妈妈。。。”他固执地说。
“什么也别说，”严厉的母亲说道。她是想严格地执行规定。吃完晚饭后，他妈妈问他刚才要说什么。“噢，妈妈，我只是想说我小妹妹掉到水里了。”
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